do u ever lie on ur side and a small tear leaks out and ur just like whoa wtf body I know I’m sad but not that sad
woke up to a blood stain on my bedsheets wtf
this is literally the best post ever
Ayy no but seriously I’m a guy and I’ve had shit like this happen too and I couldn’t find any evidence of like cuts or anything it’s super weird
my pillows are occasionally covered in blood in the morning
I like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu but refusing to eat it. It’s okay, though, because it’s a metaphor. The metaphor is I’m incredibly wasteful and extremely wealthy.
OMFG HE’S DYING OF CANCER LET HIM DO WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS WITH HIS DAMN CIGARETTES
what are you talking about. im trying to brag about how ridiculously rich i am
wine tastes so bad. I’m convinced the whole world is in on an inside joke together trying to persuade me that wine tastes good to them. there’s no way any one can like the taste of it. it’s like bug spray. the whole frickin world pretends to like bug spray. I don’t understand why. stop the madness
wine is an acquired taste. if you don’t like it, acquire some taste
i fucking hate you kathy lee
im laughing so hard oh my god
oh my fucking god
The year is 1730. A lone teenage girl sits up at 11 pm writing frantically in her diary. ‘WOE IS ME!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHAKESPEARE RN WHY DID HE MAKE ROMIET CANON’
"I SHALL GO DOWN WITH THIS SAILING VESSEL."
i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut
12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.
money can be exchanged for goods and services
This is a seal with hiccups.